Can you be that Clear Vessel for the Divine?- YES YOU CAN!

I have this deep yearning to write, to share my hearts truth... not too sure how this is going to go... I am tuning into The Goddess herself... what ever messages pour through me; I will share with you...

How can I serve? - I asked that this morning as I was on my knees. so oblivious for many years of the hatred and racism that exist on our planet... as a spiritual person, we tend to spiritually bypass anything that triggers us, or makes us feel any kind of shame.  

I have even recalled being racist myself. I'm racist to some west Indians, to blacks to whites and to hispanics. And there was one thing that I realized, it was that rascism is not something we are born with, it is taught... and programmed. I hear some family members mimic the indians, saying that they stink... some of my family even say "It's their women, they are weak." - it really triggers me deeply because FUCK I just want to stand up for what is right. Racism, in any way shape or form , it is not right.

What is the key to ending racism ? ...It is to find racism (which is in everyone including those of colour) in ourselves and look at it vulnerably, instead of shamefully. Shame will not get us anywhere... feeling sorry for ourselves or shame for being a racist will not get us anywhere.

The time is now to remember who we truly are... we have made an oath to come down at this time in the planets herstory, because we have a voice! Never before have I seen and witnessed so many people especially women, use their voices for the healing and benefit of this planet. And it is quite empowering... but when something huge and uncomfortable comes along, resurfaces or merges from the depths of our own being... oh are we too afraid to say something.

Judgement .... that's what racism is... Ego ... that's what racism is... it's when we look at someone and see them as 'other'. And yes, we have our own separate selves... but there is an underlying energy and force that is very alive in us, that allows us to even be here in the first pace. It is the energy of Oneness, of Source energy... and when we begin to use that as our way to transmute, heal and NOT "give back the taste of there own medicine", will we be able to truly end this. 

 

Can you walk this path with me?

Are you willing to look at the shadow and racism within yourself, and see it as vulnerability ? - NOT VICTIMIZATION 

Can you find Source energy within yourself to birth that?

Can you be willing enough to try? 

 

say something beloved...

 

Share what you know is right and love in your heart beloved. I know that it's scary, I know... I truly know. I myself was so hesitant on showing up for the Planet on video today... but I did it. And I do it everyday when I share my experiences of womb trauma + sexual shame... & when I open emails and messages of how I truly helped a woman heal and look at herself differently through the eyes of The Goddess... it is one of the most loving and truthful feelings ever... and that is why we are here! We are here now to birth the Goddess out into the planet, and I did what the Goddess asked me to do. And now I'm writing sharing my hearts truth.

How can you show up more fully on this planet?

How can you serve this planet?

 

Now is the time to truly show up.

Do you consider yourself a healer ? A light-worker? Do you just love spreading good vibes? Me too! But it's time to stand up for those who do not have a voice... admit that they don't have a voice and it's time to stand up for yourself and spread LOVE.

White women, white men, white spiritual leaders, white teachers ... use your platform, use your voice, use your status and privledge. I promise I will!  Because we are listened to most the time. We have the chance to be heard and end this... to those of colour... let's use our voices, stand up for what is right. Racism is very real and exist in all of us. 

Myself being a women of black heritage, Native Indian + white ... I feel deep deep pain, the pain on all sides.

all sides need to be loved & presenced

Hate will not heal this... fighting will not heal this.

Love, will heal this, so I ask you..  

Are you ready to show up?

Are you willing to LISTEN to truth and birth that out into the planet? - Of course you are... Why else would you be here on this planet at this time? To just sit back? NO you are here to do some amazing work.

So I guess you're wondering how we can do that? Well, it's different for everyone; it's different depending on your skin colour, your life in general , what you've been through and where you're at now... And what you have available to you. There is one thing that we all have, and it is our voices. What's important is that we use what we can to spread and share the love! 

 

You can use your social media platforms

How can you begin sharing your truth and what is right?  You can use your social media platforms...  call it out on the street when you see shadow taking place...  you can shine your light upon it.... And I'll tell you, I'm terrified sometimes of sharing my truth - afraid of death actually, but I would die in the energy of Oneness, and for standing up for TRUTH. - I still need to prove this to myself, but am so willing! And I WILL!

 Find the racism within yourself - and yes we are all racist.

It is a fact, and unformtuney true. Can we admit that? Can we admit that we can be racist ? - Really begin to be present with this... to call it in, and to LOVE it. When you see your racism as being deeply vulnerable and afraid of being "less than" ... and start to integrate that by calling in Source energy into your awareness... You can begin to help others with their process too! SO admit it, Accept it, and LOVE IT, as it is apart of you.

 Listen to the call  

God , Goddess, Source, Our higher-selves, gives us opportunities everyday to fully show up on the planet. If you have an urge to say something, to write... or share... it is your higher-self and the Goddess wanting to speak through you. It is also your responsibility to be the Clear Vessel for the Divine to birth what it needs to, through you. You can help so much beloved. Can you be willing to share and elevate consciousness even when you're afraid ? - Yes you can. 

There are many ways in which we can help our planet REMEMBER WHO WE ARE - We are children of the Earth. It is deeply engraved within US ALL the truth , and how amazing it is to have a planet that takes care of us completely - The Aboriganls knew this deeply, my people know this... our ancestors knew this deep truth of oneness and of RESPECT for our Earth... and she is not something to be claimed, she is not something to keep people out of... I laugh right now because Mother Earth is still Mother Earth, she is our home and we are fighting over it when she will always be the same LOVE. It is time to wake up.

 

Are you ready to take Divine action? - Everyday, wake up and ask The Universe, "How may I serve the collective today?" , "How can I fully show up in my purpose today?" - LISTEN DEEPLY, and take that divine action. 

You are supported... We are suppose to be here right now... We are suppose to be experiancing this right now.

 

Both pain + Love exist in our world, we have made it so - SO let's choose love, and compassion FOR ALL, including ourselves.

 

How can we love our vulnerability and shame within ourselves ?

 

By breathing it the fuck in and loving it! - that my friend, will transmute it.

To join me in a Guided meditation, press play Beloved xo

 

Here are two amazing Blog Posts I read of the current level of consciousness, and how we can truly help..

' Blood + Soil they Cried' - by Teal Swan

'I need to talk to spiritual white women about white supremacy - By Layla of The Wild Mystic Woman 

 

Thank you Beloved for being here, I witness you... I witness your shame + shadow... your vulnerability ... your anger. And I love you!

 

xo Sarah Nicole

☥ 4 steps to Reclaiming your Sexual + Womb Power ☥  

To be quite honest with you, I still experience resistance and shame when it comes to "owning" or "reclaiming" my sexual + womb power. Why you ask? Well.. because I had this belief that it took the same amount of time to claim my power, as it did to the programming, or the trauma that took place in my life. Meaning, if I experienced 10 years of shame and trauma, then it will take the same amount of time for it to transmute. This was true for a very long time... till I chose other wise.

My journey was not of a miraculous miracle after I stopped selling my body and when I stopped using drugs... Where I was able to see angels right away or I automatically loved my womb blood, or I loved life. Instead, it was a deep journey of deep transmutation and ACCEPTANCE - And yes ... It took about a year and a half to really just ... "be"... 

And that's what I'm going to share with you today. Everyone is on their own sacred womb journey... however, I find some women to just feel stuck, and to be so afraid of "feeling", and actually programmed to not feel at all.

Obviously you don't like feeling like this! Trust me... I've been where you are. Sometimes I find myself there again.

And thats okay!

But overall, it feels like you've hit another dead end in your life... For example.. 

First the really shit relationships ... which was a manifestation of you and your fathers relationship...To maybe having an aboriton making you feel so unworthy of being a mother... which goes back to the relationship with your own mum... And maybe she made you feel like everything you ever did, was a burden... then making everything that's ever happened to you a burden as well.. making things that are so natural, feel dirty and wrong. For example. your menstrual cycle. You're sick of chasing love, you feel drained because you don't know how to release. SO much shame + So much womb trauma and this could just be the tip on the ice berg for you... Girl, I feel you because I AM YOU! 

... hmm, but maybe this isn't you. BUT, there is a part of you that either wants a new way of living, a new and resurrected deep connection with yourself, your body + with life.. 

or you're afraid of that... which actually tells me that you want it deeply. 

Well sister, if that's what you desire!

Then it is yours.

Whatever you desire or strive to be, you are already it.

Yes it's that simple <3

To truly reclaim your sexual +  womb power ... is to say YES to it all. TO ALL OF IT. If we are to claim anything, and own anything, we need to first integrate the trauma, breathe in the shame and learn to LOVE, what we feel makes us unlovable, or unworthy.
 

We can no longer push away aspects of ourselves, because that it not owning anything. 


I also wanted to point out that, we have been shamed so much that even an inch of sexual desire causes us to feel deep shame. But for some women, we have rebelled... we have used this energy in negative ways to manipulate + seduce to manipulate... not seduce to actually please ourselves or a partner.
 

But, what if we used this energy, to deeply connect with ourselves instead? 


I'm so excited to share with you, 4 ways to Reclaim your Sexual + Womb Power in healthy and loving ways, that will work :)  If you truly want to transmute shame, fear + trauma ...you have to be willing to do the work. So, are you ready to commit and show up in your life? And create a life that you always knew you deserved?

You are?! Yay! Great, then lets get started! <3
 


1.) Choose <3<3<3



Have you ever been so distraught about a breakup? Or something really bad happened to you or something like that ... and then as time went by, you kind of forgot about it? That's because you chose to forget about it subconsciously. Now imagine if we CONSCIOUSLY chose to do anything in our lives... Imagine how empowered we 'd feel to choose what we'd like in our lives, imagine choosing how to feel about something, someone... OURSELVES. Imagine choosing what we want and what we don't want in our Queendom. Does that sound empowering? A little scary? Yes ... Anything scary though, doesn't mean that its actually something to fear or that you're unworthy of it, it just means we are going outside our comfort zones.

Fear needs a big ol' hug! When we begin to LOVE, and breathe in our fear, thats when the real transmutation happens girl! So ... Write down your current beliefs you have about yourself (and be honest)... Ask yourself "Does this work for me? , "Does this make me feel good as a woman?" "Does this belief make me feel empowered as a woman?" - If the answer is No.. breathe it in consciously until you feel deep deep appreciation for the LESSONS it has given you. Ask Archangel Michael + Source to lovingly take this from you, to say goodbye. Say "Thank you, but our journey is now over, thank you for serving me during the time that you did." Don't open your eyes or leave the meditation space, till this is done. Be committed to yourself!

 


2.) Claim your Sexual Desires - Say YES to your Lack there of ...


Myself included, I find so many women who've been sexual abused or experienced shame or womb trauma, have an issue with really owning their sexual desires, or lack there of. This is quite normal. But if we are to reclaim our sexual and womb power for our overall expansion, and for the elevation of consciousness on the planet, we must begin to LOVE all that we are feeling. If you happen to feel aroused, or maybe you have a desire to be intimate, and you hear those little gremlins saying you're not good enough, or you're ugly, or you feel you'll never find the one. Or "Omgsh ... I shouldn't be horny right now." - Stop in that moment, breathe into it. Call IN these feelings, say YES to them, whether you have sexual desires or not.

Whether you feel shame for having them, or shame for not having them... bring it in closer.

And really begin to embrace it all , all that you are, all that you feel! Bring one hand to your womb space, and one hand to your heart, and say "YES. I hear myself. I honour how I feel... and in this moment, I will not try to change a damn thing." Own it girl, own it all by breathing it in and saying yes even if you think those things are "bad" or "not good enough." You got this ;)



3.) Explore your Body <3



Like I share all the time. The only way "out", is "in". Into it. SO, if we are ashamed of our bodies, if we are shameful of our desires. Its time to, in the most gentle way we can, to cut the crap and just go in there and release through masturbation... and really really explore our bodies. Explore what we like.

I use to really surpress my sexual desires and energy, especially in the morning. I'd say things to myself like "No, I will wait till I meet the one." I ignored it, I told myself NO. - When I began connecting with the moon, and started to recieve coaching myself... it really helped me to realize that I AM a sexual being. Sex is how we are here. Our temples, the female body, is what carries and births life. When we feel the urge to have sex... its an urge to create life. And how fucking powerful is that shit? Very :) 

 

So, next time when we feel like touching ourselves, next time we feel like dancing in our rooms naked! Its time to really do it!

And make this experience even more powerful by creating it in a ceremony like way. Meaning, light some candles, grab some sexual toys if you feel called to. And set the intention of what you'd like to accomplish. Lastly, when we begin connecting with ourselves, really explore our bodies... try something new. touch yourself in ways you haven't before. Try touching the rest of your body before you begin touching your vagina. If shame comes us, pleasure yourself through it. You will transmute it that way, but choosing pleasure. 



4.) Celebrate your Womb Blood ☥



This is one of my favourite things to talk about because I have had profound and deeply transmutative experiences really connecting with my womb blood and my time of bleeding.

One reason why many women, including myself at some point, are so shameful of our bodies, of our sexuality... is because we were raised into a society whether you're catholic or involved with the church or not, that completely oppresses women and everything that comes with being women. For example, our womb blood... making it the original sin... some of us literally think that being here is of the original sin. That living and being a women is evil + bad because Eve picked the stupid apple (I could go on about this story lol). We are raised to think otherwise of our time of bleeding as sacred. We don't slow down during our time of bleeding, society has not acknowledged this as a time of great healing for us, to replenish and renew ourselves. We never really talked about it growing up either... We always hid it in school... We were never taught the real ways.. our ancestral lineages' ways of the womb. Which is one of literally, PURE MAGIC. That is what our womb blood is on an esoteric level. Is Magic! 

 

Now how does celebrating our womb blood help us to claim our sexual and womb power, and how do we even celebrate our womb blood? Awesome question :)

Well, to celebrate something, is to honour it, to LOVE it, and to acknowledge it as something significant in your life; Like a birthday. Imagine how incredible it would be if all women of this planet treated there cycles every month like it was their birthday every month. A birthday, is to celebrate you being here on earth... so imagine celebrating you being here every month. Sounds fun to me lol. Massive shifts I tell you! 

When we treat ourselves, our sexual desires and our womb blood as sacred once again, we can begin to reclaim our sexual power. Why? Because we are honouring every single aspect of ourselves... and honouring the places within that we thought we dirty or bad, or evil which is the act of transmutation itself.

We are turning our pain, or old beliefs, into gold.


We can celebrate our womb blood every cycle by slowing down, and treating ourselves as queens during our time of bleeding. The time of menstruation is a time of deep transformation... we enter a dreamy imaginative realm space where our left and right brain hemispheres merge into one. Our intuitive abilities are much stronger. and our abilities to release the previous cycle through meditation and stillness, is what will allow us to truly release the old paradigm. I experience full on psychic abilities during my time of bleeding. I experience full on physical and emotional releases when I sit and actually sink into the stillness of my own womb + womb blood.

Do you notice how heavy and grounded we feel during the time of bleeding? This leads me to the second way of how we can celebrate our womb blood to reclaim our sexual and womb power.

We experience this heaviness, this grounded energy... because we are being called back to the earth with our womb blood.

Our ancestors did this every Dark Moon, when all the women of the community (yes the men did fine on their own with the children, I say this became someone tried to argue that the villages would go to shit if the women went away for a week... not true.) gathered in sacred sisterhood in these wonderful red tents + moon lodges to bleed together, on to the earth. To give back to the earth all that she has given us, to heal, to release, to cry, to drink teas and lots of other awesome fun stuff. They knew that doing this, would bring peace on earth, and peace within.The wise women + mothers of the tribes usually held the space... they were the oracles. Women would also give birth in these red tents! When their bleeding finished, they would embark on a new inner journey for the next cycle. They were refreshed because they consciously released and sank into the stillness of their own wombs.

So sister, I invite you to begin doing this, by meditating on it first, and begin to give back to mother earth all that she gives us. This is the ultimate way of honouring our wombs and claiming our sexual power. When we do this, you will activate remembrance within your entire being... as this wisdom is already deeply engraved into you.

So there you go beloved. This is what I continue to work on deeply within myself all the time. And invite you sister to begin integrating all 4 ways above into your life. This will completely change everything for you

 The Journey of The Goddess + The Priestess is a life time endeavour. It is a life long commitment of self love, discovery and remembrance. If you've read all the way to the end, it's our mission to resurect wisdom within each woman we meet, but first we must walk this journey internally first by embodying our natural ways of the womb, and embracing ALL OF US, together. 

 

Now I leave you with this...



If this is your souls calling, if you deeply resonate connecting with your passionate sexual energy, if you feel the calling to step into your own womb power and really begin to embody The Goddess and the inner Priestess within you... If that is what you wish to be, then that is what you are. and no one can take that from you!

But... are you truly ready to commit to this? Are you truly ready to commit to all 4 steps above? If yes... then you got this girl! With commitment, and perseverance,  with constant tuning into your womb and a willingness to get a little bit uncomfortable sometimes to transmute, will take you places incredibly fufilling and magical. 

So, if you're wanting this for yourself. If you're wanting to really embrace all aspects of yourself and learning new ways in which you can contribute to your own consciousness, the consciousness of the planet,  your own inner womb journey, and have amazing support along the way. I want to invite you to a 5 month program I am currently offering to you and my fellow sisters.

<3 It's the deep dive of  Womb Blood Alchemy, and together, will  literally be embodying the Goddess, and our natural ways of the womb + womb blood together in sacred sisterhood, with a step by step process of going deep into the Blood Mysteries of your own sacred womb filled with Blood Magic, private online gatherings, guided meditations + So Much More! <3

Doors are open of another week, however the Bonus ends tomorrow!

That means that if you sign up by tomorrow, Sunday August 13th at midnight for the Womb Blood alchemy deep dive - check out more about that here : www.healingwithsarah.ca/womb-blood-alchemy )- you'll receive the 3 bonus gifts of : my e-book: How to Transmute Sexual Shame + Womb Trauma with your Moon Time, 3 charts that I created for you to start tracking your bleeding + a 45 minute womb coaching session with me.

If you have any questions about this journey, or curious if it's right for you... You can book a free call with me. No pressure at all! My sacred intention is to ask your Higherself + Angels : "What is the next best step for you right now?" and follow that.

You can book your free session with me here.

SO much womb love to you on your jouney! You're already killin' it girl <3


xo Sarah Nicole

Healing the Womb Trauma of Abortion

I'm just gonna come out and say it, that I've had 3 abortions in my life. All were really, really sad at the time. But I have nothing to be ashamed of, and neither do you! And no one, absolutely NO ONE can tell you if you've made the right choice or not, it is not for someone else to make. Obviously, we are still effected by these judgements; we feel deep shame, we feel like a horrible person for making a choice we knew what was best for us at the time, and we pretty much feel like a fucking murderer... because that is what people, and ourselves tell ourselves that we are. 

As the years go by, I often feel and think of the deeper parts of what truly is happening from an esoteric stand point, and then I tune into my womb blood and ask her what she feel it all means. It's really quite interesting what is truly happening. Most women, blame themselves for making the choice to not go through with a pregnancy, much of us blame ourselves for not being responsible ... and yes that may be true, but no one is to blame.

Did you know that as soon as conception happens, there was already an energy or soul that already knew it wasn't going to be born into the physical ? Yes, its a choice that every party involved makes. We have these things called Soul Contracts, and while we're still in heaven, or with Source or God, or before we come to experience human form, we are pure consciousness, we are One with God, and within that, we wanted to get to know ourselves... or better yet, Source wanted to know itself, and it decided to create separate aspects of itself i.e. you and me. Before we are born, we choose the kind of life we want to live, we choose our parents based on their energy, based on how they will treat us, based on the energy of their childhood, we can also choose to not be born at all, sometimes we choose to come into this life, and go back to heaven a day after... Whatever it is that we choose, it is for the expansion of our awareness. 

For all the abortions I've had, I've had deep shame for making those choices. Not once, but three times. Some people in my life even told me I was a shit person for not having them. It was hurtful, and sometimes, I relive it in my mind of the procedure, the excruciating pain and the tears of grief afterwards... But what we do when we've tried to move on?  We may even have children of our own now, everything seems like its alright, but we're still reminded by the ego, by society and the old paradigm of how horrible and unlovable we are. 

What do we do, to love ourselves and the choice we made of having an Abortion ? 

Going to the source... Going to the root, literally.

THE WOMB is how we transmute this pain and trauma. By honouring ourselves in the NOW, by loving ourselves NOW, by saying YES I'm gonna love myself anyway NOW... not tomorrow or when we feel like we "should" ... RIGHT NOW is the time. 

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I've completely healed my womb trauma from abortion, but I'm on my way... I'm on an amazing path of deep diving within the womb, that must be shared, because even if it helps just one person, it really does make all the difference. 

The Key to transmuting womb trauma, is going back to her.

Your womb will always tell you the truth, she will always tell you ... "You are so deeply loved." Because it's true ! 

So, how do we get there?

Well, what I've learned is when women gather... Magic happens... When we witness each other... Shifts take place... Lives are changed, and that is what I'd like to invite into at this time, sister. 

... Please Watch Video to get Initiated ..

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I will be holding sacred space for us women in the Free 3 Day Live Womb Workshop, where on Day 2 of our time together... we will be deepening and transmuting the shame and trauma of Abortion in sacred sisterhood! You will be witnessed, and have an opportunity to share your story, ask the questions you need and be guided into a deeper state of understanding and love for yourself, and the choices that you've made.

It's gonna be Powerful sister, and this opportunity is open for ALL WOMEN, of all experiences, of all ages + cycles. 

This powerful 3 day workshop, will take place in the Divine Goddess Sisterhood Moon Temple on Facebook! 


Day One : Monday July 31st @ 2:22pm EST ~ Sexual Shame

 Day Two : Wednesday August 2nd @ 2:22pm EST   ~ Abortion  

Day Three : Friday August 4th @ 2:22pm EST  ~ Sexual Abuse + Rape


If my experience of Abortion sounds similar to yours, or if you need to be witnessed and heard with the trauma you may have experienced, I am here sister.And we will be going deeper during the Free 3 Day Live Workshop in The Divine Goddess Moon Temple.  To sign up for this workshop, please fill out the registry below.

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If you'd like to learn more to about this 3 day Womb WorkShop, Click here :) 

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Breathe in your shame .. instead of trying to escape it!

... A couple days ago the feelings of disgust poured over me, and my mind was filled with judgmental thoughts towards some of the choices I had made. I'm gonna be sharing a story with you, what has helped me to transmute this shame + the way that we can come together to heal. But first, I want to share this story with you.

So, I use to go "stealing"  all the time, that's what I'd call it back in the day as if it were a part of my everyday life, although it was. One day,  I decided to go to  this warehouse in Brampton on Queen street... it was right beside the Stitches and a few other stores. On these trips, I'd bring empty shopping bags, fill some of my clothes in them, and make my way to the stores to fill up these bad boys with new clothes. But, this isn't what this story is about.......... Right beside this hidden warehouse, was a hair salon/spa owned by this cute little Indian woman. She was short and round, with a gorgeous smile... Very welcoming. She looked like she knew how to cook a good meal. (+ I don't mean that in a rude way... there are just those people who look like they know how to cook!) Anyways,  it was a gorgeous day in May, and she was standing outside of her salon, saying hello to people who had passed. And as our eyes met, she said "Darling you have such gorgeous hair." I stopped and said thank you and told her "You as well." Carrying these huge bags of stolen clothes she said "Day off today? Doing some shopping?" Shopping my ass! lol But I  smiled and said "Yes..." She then began explaining to me of  how she'd just bought her new space for her hair salon, and that if I got my hair done by her, she would "give me a good deal".  I told her I go to a my girlfriend already, but thanked her. She nodded and said okay and  "You should come check it out! I'm looking for some interns." Her kindness, or what I though was kindness, couldn't say no to her ... Most pimps do that. They tell the girl really great things.. are so so nice to you, they offer you "love" and make you feel beautiful... and in return when they ask you for a favour, you feel incredibly guilty if you say no. Also, who knew there could be female pimps? 

Anyways, her salon was recently bought... I could always tell by the energy of a freshly bought store or hair salon, can't you? Fresh paint smell... different styling chairs at each station, and some green plants she put at the front window to hide some of the peeling paint. All of her staff were men, expect for this lovely girl who was putting red lipstick on in the far corner of the salon. "She's pretty." I thought to myself. I really liked her cheetah tank top too! (this was when cheetah and animal print were the thing). The owner said "This is Pooja, she does our massages and waxing." Pooja said "Hi." with a very faint smile. She never did say much to me during our time together. I remember taking the bus home after work, and she was on the phone crying. She didn't see me. But... I felt deep grief for her. 

The tour continued, and we were now making our way up 5 steps into a dark hallway, with only 3 pocket lights, one being burnt out.. This is where the rooms were. Only 3 out of the 5 had doors on them, the rest were dressed in black cloth. And as I write this... I feel the pulling of escapism right now typing this, as I felt in those very rooms. Confused, stuck energy.

So, she showed me into all the rooms and asked me if I would like to be her assistant and help around the salon. And I had just quit this horrible retail job where they didn't pay me many times for staying overtime.. I felt that this was an opportunity to take! I also wanted approval of my Mum to know that I was independent and was making my own money.  So, I said yea sure!

And then she brought me into one of the rooms and told me... 

" You know, you could make a lot of money here, like Pooja." I replied with " Well what does Pooja do?"  -

Because I've already experienced pimp number 1 and 2 ... I kind of knew where she was going with this. I also felt, like I was safe to do this.

The owner said that Pooja gave some of the massages.. but mostly she was available for "full service." I knew what that meant.. I've heard it a million times before. "Full service" is when your available for everything, including sex and including anal. Sometimes, men push their luck and ask for service without a condom. - Uhm, NO.

At this time in my life, it was all about money!  Money money money. Anything to make money, "I should do it" I told myself .  My ex-boyfriend who was in jail (or so I thought... I was pretty much getting CatFished the entire time) really REALY had my thinking that money was all I needed to be happy... and whatever I have to do to get it, was what needed to be done. I lived by that motto for years... till I realized, that just is not my divine truth. 

We are already abundant, and abundance is not found anywhere but inside of ourselves.

Anyways, I was so excited for this offering she had given me. I thought I was gonna be rich! I thought I was gonna have all this money and buy a nice car, and not have to steal clothes anymore ... It was a clear yes. However, there was one small teensy catch... I had to give her 40% cut of all that I made. I agreed to this offer... But, I actually charged more in the back. The owner didn't know that I was not new to this. So, I made all of the money, and then some. But, it didn't make me feel any better afterwards.

The following Monday, I began this journey as a hair salon assistant and a "masseuse". My first client was a blur; a small indian man, very quiet. and the exchange happened.... I just remember asking myself "Oh my God, am I really doing this again?" - I ignored this thought, and pretended I was enjoying my time with this man. That's what the job entails ; you please the man, and he gets what he pays for. After the 4 minutes passed and he was finished, I headed to the bathroom, as the taste of condom was in my mouth. I put my clothes, my undies and my skirt back on, and headed back down to the main area.

There was at least 8 men waiting for either me or Pooja... sitting on the chairs there... with sparkles in their eyes, as if they've never seen a woman before. In that moment, I laughed inside of how pathetic these men were and how much money I was going to take from them. There was this one man who looked really dirty, with a scruff and looked like he hadn't changed his clothes in 3 days, food stains on them. NO I did take this man in the back, I thought I had standards. Anyways, long story short, this continued for the rest of the week. And when it came Friday... everything changed all of a sudden. I no longer wanted to do this, I felt drained, I felt sick to my stomach, I felt used. I wanted to punch the owner in her face.. How could she do this? How could she use me like this? 

On the Friday, I was standing in front of the mirror in one of the rooms, I was fixing my hair. I hear a knock at the door, and  this man with a turquoise turban came in my room, saying he was sent up here by the owner. I said "No, get out." He looked at me, knowing of my answer, and came into the room and closed the door behind him. He said " I pay you more money." with his accent. I said "NO" . I could smell him from across the room as he spoke.. Immediately as I smelt that, I knew his area down below probably didn't smell any better. He begged me "Please just hug me, my wife doesn't touch me anymore." I looked at him and I felt really awful. I felt so bad for him. As he laid 5 one hungered dollar bills on the bed, that is double  of what I was expecting. I said "Okay". I took the money and put it in my purse. He's now taking off his clothes... I am so scared to breathe right now... I'm afraid I'm going to puke.  As he took of his clothes and laid on the bed, his penis was uncircumcised and I did not want to go anywhere near it. Because you have to pull the skin down to expose the penis... I didn't even do that.  I grabbed the condom right away, and started putting it on him with two fingers... I did  not want to touch him. I could see his uncleaned penis through the condom, let's just say this man had no cleaned his penis in years. 

So, I couldn't find it in me to do this with him, I gave his money back and said bye. I didn't say anything else to him. As he left ...The questions that came to me was "Am I going to do this forever?" , "Omg omg omg."

I was freaking out. I had a panic attack. 

I thought that expressing and being present with myself made me weak. And that someone could use my vulnerability against me. I kept it all inside of me. Literally. 

After this man left, I had told the owner, that this would be my last day... she did not look impressed at all. She said "You know you still have to..." I interrupted her, and said "No, today is my last day, and I'm leaving in about 10 minutes. Thank you." - I was never really afraid of my pimps. I was always able to get out some how. I was never EVER afraid. 

There are so many things that I was ashamed of, this story being one of them. but saying yes to this offer of working in the salon / spa ... was an initiation into my souls path of sexual empowerment and womb healing. 

However , I did not know this at this time

On that Friday I went to see my current boyfriend, he knew nothing of my week long of prostitution. However... him and I do have another story that I will share with you another time. Him and I loved our sexy time ;) but because my vagina felt loose, it felt so open from sleeping with all these men that week...  I felt dirty... and thoughts like "oh my god, I hope my pussy goes back in." I was afraid that my current boyfriend would notice that my vagina didn't feel the same, because it didn't feel the same to me. But as he entered me, I pretended that it was all normal. But was dying inside. And every moan that I made, was a chance for me to yell at myself, and release all of the men who entered me... That didn't really work to be honest.

This shame... was hidden really really deep. 

Now, fast track to last Thursday, I had a coaching call with my coach. As usual, she asked me how I was feeling and what's been going on for me. I replied with "Things are going amazing, I have my days where I feel so incredibly empowered... and then I have some days where deep shame consumes me. I am just so tired. Like I'm super excited to be doing this sacred work !! But I AM JUST SO TIRED." 

"Hmm" she replied. She invited me to gently close my eyes, and to really connect with this deep shame that's coming up for me. I immediately sunk into this black energy... not negative energy, but black, cool and receptive energy, as she called up the Mother of Compassion Kali. I knew Kali was present even before she had called onto her, as I felt a cool breeze brush my face. Kali shows herself to me that way. 

Sitting with this shame, tears rolled down my eyes. I said "its painful". The next question she asked me was "Where is this deep shame truly coming from? " Higher self says "Choices"... I share that with her. Choices of working as a prostitute, and becoming a stripper. I was so so shameful of it. As I sat with this shame, breathing it into my being, deeper and deeper with every breath I took, I could feel my connection to my higher self, and with the Goddess Kali. Allowing me to see the truth of my choices. 

She then asked me "Now that you are breathing in this shame, and loving it, what's wrong with the choices that you've made.? As I sat with this question for a few moments...

"Nothing."  I said.

Nothing is wrong with the choices that I've made. 

Breathing in this truth, calling in the shame, instead of trying to escape it, allowed me to resurrect deep truth in my being of my powerful sexual energy. Learning what was not true connection when working as a prostitute, learning the shadow of our sexual energy ... allowed me to see and know the difference NOW, and BE my true self NOW.

The story that I share with you, is one of great shame when I was looking at it from the perspective of fear, and of shadow... and of judgements. But when I tuned into the TRUTH of why this had occurred, and what my soul was longing for, which was sexual and womb empowerment... I began to be the truth of my experiences. 

So I ask you sister,

• Do you feel disempowered to speak your truth, because you feel you don't deserve it based on the choices that you've made ?

• Even though you have began the journey of self- love, shame holds you back from your truth?

• Are you tired of not having a voice?

• Do you judge yourself for some of the choices you've made, and are ready to be the sovereign being you were born to be?

• And are you ready to BREATHE IN your shame, and use it as your sacred womb power?!

If so, this is what we are going to be sitting with, and breathing into for the 3 Day Live Womb Workshop. I invite you sister, into a New and TRUTHFUL understanding and compassion for yourself and your beautiful journey.  Beginning Monday July 31st, at 11:11am. This will be a space held for all women of all journeys who would like to embark on a new journey of Self Love and ...

Sexual + Womb Empowerment

The 3 Day Live Womb Workshop, includes:

• 3 Live Workshops where you can transmute Sexual shame, womb trauma of Abortion and womb trauma of Sexual Abuse + Rape

• Womb activation + illumination meditation for you to tap into your own wombs wisdom and mysteries of your blood on all 3 days of this experience. 

• A New unconditional love for yourself , the choices you've made + your abusers

• A free guided Womb Activation Meditation - More details coming soon!

• and much MORE <3

If you have not signed up already, you can learn more and Sign up here!  If you can't make it Live, you will still receive all the replays + MORE , if you Sign Up.

Lots of Womb Love to You,

May your Shame become your Sacred Womb Power,

xo Sarah Nicole

P.s - If you'd like to become apart of our online moon temple, where I share tons of goodies + wisdom, Click Here to enter our Divine Goddess Sisterhood! 

How I'm Healing Womb Trauma & 1 Year Update

I'd be lying to you if I said I was completely healed. I would be not showing up completely to my purpose, if I said I didn't wake up some days wanting to kill myself still. I'd be lying to you if I said that I don't experience any memory of being raped or wanting to die.

But what I can tell you ... is that I AM HEALING. And that this journey, is absolutely worth it. And I'm here to remind you, if you're dealing with any of what I've dealt with... this isn't it... this doesn't have to be your life if you don't want it to. 

I've been doing the work. I've been showing up for myself in ways that I never thought I'd be able to do. Sharing my experiences and what I'm doing now that helps me, is such a blessing. Because all the shit that went down, makes these moments of supporting you so worth it. It makes clear messages from my guides and the Universe so worth it, because I live in a place of truth.

It wasn't easy ... But it got easier when I decided that I was worth living :)

It's been a little bit over a year when I made the choice to live... to actually Live. And when I say live, I mean I completely stopped drinking and using, took a well deserved break from the clubs, and just dove right into healing myself, and asking ...

What am I Here to Do?

Last year, I was drinking heavily, was doing drugs, preferably cocaine, for 3 days non-stop in a row, and was just raped in March 2016. I didn't know what I wanted to do, I began stripping at the age of  17 years old, and was not going to the club to make the money anymore, I was going there to get trashed, to get high and to numb myself. I didn't know what I was, or why I was even here. 

The 1 year anniversary showed me how far I've come. but it couldn't show me how far I've come, without showing me and reminding me of where I was, who I was and what I had to experience to understand my purpose... and then to go ahead and live it. 

There are parts of me that are still healing... that are still trying to get through it. And although I am choosing love within myself, that doesn't mean that I don't experience old trauma, and old wounds. I wanted to share this with you, that if you're like me, and you've experienced deep sexual shame or womb trauma, I invite you sister, to make the choice to say YES to yourself, YES to living a happy and meaningful life and YES to your womb. I invite you now to decide and choose yourself in this moment, to show up in this moment as you are, no matter what you think you've done or what's happening in your life.

Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your womb space & say these words, and say them often!

I AM SO ENOUGH IN THIS MOMENT...

I AM SO WORTHY OF LIFE!

I AM DEEPLY LOVED BY THE GODDESS...

I AM ALWAYS TAKEN CARE OF ...

I ALWAYS ASK + TUNE INTO MY TRUTH!

AND SO IT IS!

 Sister, I bow to you for showing up right now. Sometimes we get uncomfortable when we're not use to doing or saying something to, or for ourselves. But we must make the uncomfortable, comfortable. When I first began this journey, I was a hot mess... I was proud that I had stopped drinking... but, I was still haunted and had deep deep shame for some of the choices that I'd made, and for the horrific things that had happened to me.

On my journey, there were many things that had happened to me, many choices that I'd made that had caused serious womb trauma.  I've have noticed within myself, and in many other women, 3 experiences that cause us to feel really horrible about ourselves and that causes serious womb trauma. These 3 things are, Sexual Shame, Abortion and Sexual Abuse + Rape. And whether you have experienced all of these, or non of these, tuning into the womb, learning to love yourself in moments of deep shame, and getting witnessed, will get you in the right direction of what self - love means, and why truly, on a soul level, any womb trauma has occurred in the first place.  

And that is what I have to offer you at this time! 

I invite you sister, to the FREE 3 Day Womb Workshop to transmute womb trauma caused by Sexual Shame, Abortion and Sexual Abuse + Rape. 

.. Please watch video below to get initiated ..

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If you're one of many women who don't know how to integrate this kind of trauma ... who don't know how to move on and live in that place of love... if you don't think you deserve to feel love. If you've experienced rape, or abortion or any type of sexual shame, this is for you.

This is a Free 3 Day Live Womb Workshop to get witnessed and to be loved as you are. A chance to share your story, a serious deep; dive into your womb so you could walk this path of acceptance and unconditional love for yourself, and your experiences. 

I'm not saying I have all the answers, I'm inviting you to bare your soul with me so we can witness each other and reach that level of awareness that will help you to live from that place of purpose and acceptance. There is deep love and purpose in this kind of trauma and shame. And I will be holding that space for you, so you can see this truth.

You are so worthy dear one. 


Day One : Monday July 31st @ 2:22pm EST ~ Sexual Shame

 Day Two : Wednesday August 2nd @ 2:22pm EST   ~ Abortion  

Day Three : Friday August 4th @ 2:22pm EST  ~ Sexual Abuse + Rape


If you'd like to learn more to about the Free 3 Day Live Womb Workshop, Click here :)

&

 To sign up, please fill out the registry below.

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Name

How We Can Honour Our Womb Blood ♡

Our Blood Is So Pure! Our Blood Is LIFE Blood.. It Is The Blood Of Life.

Think about it, any other kind of blood shed upon this earth besides when a women is having a baby, is shed by violence or a cut or something. I call this the blood of death.

US WOMEN ARE THE ONLY LIVING CREATURES ON THIS PLANET THAT CAN NATURALLY EXPERIENCE AND RELEASE LIFE BLOOD. OUR BLOOD IS A SACRED BEAUTIFUL THING WE ARE NOW REMEMBERING.

Read More

He Said That It's Wrong For Women To Come Together...

Well.... Not exactly, but he asked me things like "Why do Women feel they need to come together and talk about us?"  (referring to men), and "I thought it was about unity?"  And "So what if guys did this, you wouldn't like that!" and "Okay well, Why can't we join you?" 

I have been putting the intention out to The Universe to start a Women's circle starting in April, so us Women can come together, to celebrate ourselves, to support each other, to trust each other, to love and hear each other and to be in OUR truth as Women. To embrace the Divine Feminine, The Goddess within, to connect with the Moon Cycles and our very own cycles.

Growing up, I've always been in competition with other women, I've been betrayed, I've betrayed and I would compare, I didn't feel enough inside. And that manifested into myself being "the other woman", and lots of other "inferior roles" as a girl and woman...

I'm sure some of you women reading this can relate... And That's just not why we are here. That is not why we chose to come down to this planet.

We came here to serve a beautiful purpose AS WOMEN, AS ONE! 

During this eye opening conversation, I came from a place of fear, and anger. I felt powerless, because to me, it HAS always been a mans world, it was always limiting for me as a girl, I was only good for one thing. 

How could someone tell me it's wrong for me to create a circle for women? Who the fuck did he think he was to question me!? I want nothing but to HELP and SERVE!  I was so angry.

Maybe he felt threatened.... Who fucking knows. I do know that speaking my truth triggered an unhealed wound in him, and he brought up an unhealed wound in myself as well! - Gosh did he ever !

I went deeper into this feeling that was lingering inside me for a long time. Feeling insecure of being a woman, getting shut down, Being vulnerable.... So I dove deeper this evening;

"Feeling Powerless" .... What does this mean to me, to be powerless?  

It meant that I was unworthy, It meant that I was vulnerable, which can give someone the opportunity to hurt me. It meant that I brought nothing, and if I had something, that can be taken away from me.

Instead of blaming him. I went inside. I had this unconscious belief , that I don't bring much to the table, that failure defines me as a person.

I felt unheard.

So what part of me doesn't listen to myself? That doesn't listen to others? What's the root cause?

Feeling unheard goes back to many memories with my father. I was raised to feel inferior to men, that men make all the decisions and that  "Dad is always right" and "Don't make Dad angry" ... Aha ... SO what can I do now to BE in my power? What can I do now to not give it away anymore?

The answer is simple, Unity.

I MUST bring Women together to help them ignite their Goddess Energy.

And to be honest, there is not much action I can take until I love myself completely, and love myself exactly as I am.

The answer to healing this aspect of myself is...

Flow... to Change.

I was so afraid of change. 

.... What am I so afraid of by being myself? And why am I limiting myself? Why am I identifying with my story, with my pain and suffering ? 

And the answer is that I felt that I may be nothing without it. Without my story.

I no longer feel bad for myself. I Am proud, and I take Full responsibility.

And the truth is; 

I Am something!

Of course I Am lovable, 

Of course I Am worth something! 

I Am love.

I Am a Woman!

I Am a Goddess.

I Am a Priestess. 

I can feel,

I Am a natural nurturer, a natural healer.

I create life,

I Am life .... And so is everyone else. 

I no longer allow the opinions and beliefs of others, dictate what I think I am and what I can offer this planet. Because it's just not true. It's been a lie I've been telling myself for such a long time, that has manifested into situations like this one. 

The process doesn't stop here though, the journey doesn't stop here... I can say all the positive things I want to make myself feel better. True breakthroughs happen when you dive deep within, and take full responsibly for attracting what ever it is that's in your space, Positive or Negative. I am so grateful for this guy showing me this unhealed wound. I truly am.

When I learn to be at peace with myself, and accept and approve, When I SURRENDER, that's when opinions won't matter to me. 

Us Women are so Sacred, We Are Love, We Are Truth and Unity. We Are SO Connected. And to be honest, it's not about equal rights to me, it's about Respect. Respect for both the feminine and the masculine, it's not about being better, it's about acknowledging that we need each other. 

When we come together as one, when we release the Ego, when we no longer give a fuck about being right... That's when Peace will be in every part of our lives; when there is peace within. When there is Space within for opportunity to happen, 

"New Beginnings can only happen to Us when we consciously choose to let go of things that no longer serve us, that have not brought us anything , when we see that we CAN do SO MUCH to serve this planet. When we SHOW UP to our Purpose!" 

Next time We are triggered, let's dive deep, release it to the Universe, feel the shift, and allow love,

because you only deserve it as much as you believe YOU do . 

Love always,

Sarah XO

How I'm Overcoming Shame

Shame ...

I can honestly say I had a lot of that, I had a lot of shame within my energy field, in my heart and in my mind. Shame is that feeling of deep regret. Of guilt. That feeling of total powerlessness of what's happened in a past event or within yourself. I felt it as a dark energy just lingering on, something that just didn't want to let go of me. But the truth was that it was never shame that was holding onto me, it was me who was holding onto shame, the idea of it, the self identification I gave it. 

The story I was telling myself was "Sarah... throw away all your stripper clothes and bags because the money you made was not "clean money." or "Sarah, delete your modelling website and completely change and ignore the fact that you genuinely like the camera because models are not good people." or "Sarah, delete and untag those photos, even the modelling pictures.. you were drunk in most of them." or  "Sarah, if you want people to take you serious, you must be this peaceful person and you must show that you are healed." or "Sarah, remember that time you got inbliterated and woke up with puke on you? ... I could go on. Shame for me was the story I was telling myself of the money I was making at the club or in the hotel rooms. Shame for me was blacking out when drinking and using drugs. Shame for me was my modelling photos because I didn't feel respected, I didn't feel like I was taken serious after the fact (not during). Shame for me was what family said to me "Sarah, I'm so happy you're not trying to be an actor anymore". Shame to me was looking at all the things I owned and all the modelling photos I had and saying that it wasn't good enough, or it was "dirty".

Why is it that we are loved conditionally? On the terms of parents and why does it hurt so bad to not be loved for who we are?  

I was so confused as a child as to why I was so different, why I didn't like rules and why I always followed my heart. Why I always did what I felt, why I was considered the weird one, the rebel and also selfish. And was always shunned for being me. Well... With all do respect, Fuck You :) 

I no longer stand here in shame to be me, to be Sarah! I stand here with Confidence, with Self-love and Acceptance and with Forgiveness towards me... and towards you.  

I know what you're thinking....

"Okay yea Sarah we get it, your healing but you're not telling us how... "

 

* Awareness

The first step to healing and overcoming shame is being completely aware of what's going on within your 1. Thoughts 2. Emotions 3. Body. Once you're completely aware of these three things, you'd be able to pick up on ALL your triggers, on what your attached to. Your beliefs that are creating your world right now. The beliefs that are not necessarily yours... they're your parents. Validate those thoughts, those feelings without judgment. It's okay to feel how you feel, and it's okay to be where you are right now. Bring your awareness to the present moment, instead of looking in the past, and anticipating towards the future, bring your attention to the present moment; you're breathing? your heart is beating? There is absolutely nothing wrong with this moment. Your level of awareness is what is causing you pain, because your limited to only one way of thinking. If you became an open vessel of universal consciousness and become completely aware of everything in your space, everything that's going on within when memories come up, when someone or something triggers you. It will lead you out of that limited thinking mind to then see the bigger picture THE PURPOSE of what your trigger and situation really is.

* Acceptance

Once you've become aware of what's is going on within, what triggers you and all of these memories that you have regarding a certain choice or situation. VALIDATE IT. Tell yourself its okay to feel the way you feel. You've got every right to feel this way and no one can tell you any different.  And if you're wondering what a trigger is, it's a reaction, usually negative... but goes deeper than what you may think. Now I want you to ask yourself what good came out of this? It will be hard to find at first, but even the smallest positive thing will raise your vibration. Also, one reason why we become so shameful is because we care so much of what other people think. if you feel you are not one of those people, congrats and please honour that you don't. But, for those who do, the next step is for you to be honest of WHO's opinion you care most of, and why? Dig even deeper, usually it will start with parents. Be present with this realization, and the root cause of your pain and suffering. And this realization is NOT to blame them, as blame is another form of shame, so initially, if you start to blame, shame came in through the back door. The belief of not being good enough, is not your belief, it is your parents belief and they gave it to you through their conditioned love towards you. They may be totally unaware of it, but that is besides the point. You've got to the choice to keep it, give it back to them, give the beliefs to your own children and continue the cycle or create your own beliefs. the choice is yours. From now on, live in the vibration of acceptance, of approval of yourself ... SO no matter if you reach a certain goal, or if you decide to go on a new diet, or ANYTHING, whether you "fail" or "succeed" won't matter cause you love and approve of yourself anyway. that fail or success will not change WHAT you are at a core level. Which is unconditional love.

* Forgiveness of Thyself & Others 

The most simple but hardest step in overcoming shame... is Forgiveness. Which is complete approval of whats happened "to you". Approval of other people's action, and approval of your own, It's hard, fuck is it ever hard. But with practice, dedication and doses of self love, you'll be on your way to forgiving. Ask yourself "What is the good coming from this memory or decision I've made?". There has to be atealst one good thing, but find as many as you can within this shameful event or memory. Because being shameful is a state of powerlessness, step into your power and ask yourself  "What would I rather be feeling right now" , replace that emotion and thought with new ones, letting go on the old ones WITHOUT judgement. Trust yourself within this process, trust that you are on the right path and that this exercise is working. 

When you allow the memories of the past to become a lesson not a burden, that is when you will start to heal. When you become aware of the thoughts that you are thinking, and pause to feel the inner stillness of all that is, that is when you start to heal. When you start listening to your body and search for approval of ONLY yourself, that is when you will truly be happy.. 

When what you have, what are you and what you've accomplished IS ENOUGH!

Looking at my modelling photos and all the hard work I've done, although I was going through SO MUCH, damn I was happy when I was up there. I was the star and the spotlight, and I felt loved by ... me.

I no longer feel shame to those memories and looking at them now, I feel so inspired to start again! 

I had this belief of either choosing between modelling/acting and being a healer. 

I AM DOING BOTH. 

Click photo to view Portfolio

Click photo to view Portfolio

 

I am my own creator, and I am creating the life that I truly want to live. The same goes for you.

Although no one would ever know I felt this way, it bothered me before that I was not accepted.

I was not born to be a worker, I was not born to be confined within all these social rules... I was born to be Sarah, to be authentic and to follow my heart and bliss. 

Don't let anyone tell you what you want to do with your life. You can be a basketball player and a crafts men like Jonas Valanciunas, you can be an actor, a writer and an environmentalist like Matt Damon and Leonardo Dicaprio. You can be whatever you want!

The only limits you have, are the ones you hold against yourself. 

So you're wondering how I'm overcoming shame;

Little by little I love myself, ALL OF ME, my mistakes, my shame and I honour it. I honour my feelings. I treat myself kindly. I dive deep within it, and sometimes I don't like what I see. But I approve and authentically forgive myself, and others with the steps above. I'm not saying that life is an as simple as the steps above, but life can be fun or shit. The choice is yours. And Yes, You do have a choice :) 

I hope this has helped you to step into your power! Good-luck, and you have my support of your dreams. Turn your dreams into reality but taking action! 

Sarah xo

Being in My Darkest Time a Year Ago...

It’s interesting how things work sometimes. And when I say interesting, I mean that there is an underlying truth that everything and everyone is connected. That there is a Soul Purpose for everything and everyone in our lives. Whether you perceive it as good or bad, is your choice.

I am not here to tell you that since the path of healing I have all the answers, I don't have all the answers. And to be honest, I don't think there is such thing as a right or wrong answer. Although I do catch myself of wanting to be right, and the vulnerability I feel when I am “wrong”….. That’s just the world we live in, there is such separation, we crave that feeling of being right, and hate the feeling of being wrong. 

WHY? 

What I can tell you, is that's SO far from the truth. The truth of what we are. It’s difficult to even put into words; ever since I’ve taken the journey of healing and being in my Divine Feminine Power, I see myself and the world through completely different eyes. Or better said, my third eye, my being, my entire self. And from being in the darkest time of my life exactly a year ago today, the world needs to know that there is a way to heal! You can heal IF you choose to do so. And what I offer here with my story, my wisdom of The Universe, and my gifts that I am put on this earth to embrace, is to spread it to you. To remind you of what you  ALREADY have inside yourself.

 

The Divine Goddess. 

 

We can’t forget about the Dark Goddess! 

She is JUST as beautiful and just as important. She is where our healing comes from! Because she can help us to embrace and own our pain, and transform it into something beautiful, something meaningful.

We cannot see the light without knowing the darkness, and we cannot know darkness without the absence of light. 

We all have The Goddess within us, even the men in our world. A true Goddess honours her feelings, is honest with how she feels TRULY, and knows what she is creating with her thoughts. Old memories that arrive again are not there to haunt her, but to let her know that it's time to heal and dig deep within that memory of herself. When someone pisses her off, or someone does not support her, laughs at her, thinks she crazy; she knows that it is a deep rooted wound that needs some tender love. That needs healing, that needs some looking into without judgement. She knows everything in her space is a reflection of what is going on inside. She is completely and so Divinely ready to heal it! 

And I urge you sister to find that Goddess within, to let her come out in honesty, without judgment & with COMPASSION! 

& straight up… it’s painful! Gosh is it ever so bloody painful! But it's just as beautiful, just as meaningful. Sitting with BOTH our light and dark will indeed set us free. 

But how…?

That's the question I get every day on my journey. HOW have you "changed" so drastically? HOW did you just stop drinking? HOW did you just stop stripping? HOW did you just turn your life around? HOW ?!

The truth is, I have not changed at all… I have simply changed perspectives.

I DIVE DEEP WITHIN MY PAIN! Within my Darkness… It’s scary, it’s hard. I want to die sometimes, but I let it consume every cell in my body, and I let it feel its way through me. Without judgement, I validate it. I validate myself. I let my feelings and emotions just be as they are…

You know …A LOT of our today Spiritual Teachers, tell us to focus on the positive, to ignore the negativity in your life. To forget all about the pain and suffering we've caused in ourselves. To tell the shame, the guilt, the anger and resentment to “go away” .

And to be honest those teachings are complete bullshit!

It’s bullshit because they've completely ignored the fact that those feelings are still there… there still needs to be healing. In order for your being to actually "move on", you have to DIVE DEEP.

Embrace The Darkness!

The Dark Goddess is just as beautiful as the Divine Goddess. Both are Divine indeed.

My Loving and Beautiful Angels have stressed to me on my journey something so wonderful we call "Free Will". It’s much easier said than done, considering we live in a world today where there is so much violence, hate and greed. We’ve become stuck in the thought of“things”. In our “identity”. 

Imagine what it'd feel like to trust and let that all go. That is what I am still doing, and what I invite you to do as well. You sister, have the free will to EMBRACE, to step into your power and TRUST! Trust your Struggle.

Let Go, Embrace Your Pain, because your Pain is Your Gold! 

In order for you to heal, you Must Dive Deep within these aspects in you, there is no seeing the light without embracing the darkness. 

Some of us Goddess' don't know how to access her.

And that's where The Divine Goddess Healing Program comes in!

I have a special Invitation for you Soul sister...

I invite you to join me for a Divine Goddess Healing experience of a lifetime! -  We DIVE DEEP into all childhood wounds, to unblock all of that unwanted and painful energy. We break down all your limiting beliefs, we will find core beliefs that've been detrimental to you. And we BREAK FREE! Together. We unlock what a life of purpose truly means to you. 

Imagine what it would feel like if you finally had full clarity in terms of your Purpose. If you understood what to do with pain from the past. If you could see the bigger picture of WHY you've been manifesting the same thing over and over again. Imagine what it'd feel like to receive REAL guidance from your personal Angels to help you with the next steps in your life. To live in your true power, your Divine Goddess Power. 

In The Divine Goddess Healing Program, we'd be unlocking that for you!

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This 3 Month Journey Includes:  

  • Six 1:1 INTENSE Readings/Healing Sessions Via Skype , Facebook Video Chat or FaceTime 
  • Weekly Divine Circle Chats on Zoom  
  • 5 "How To" Videos I was Divinely Guided to film
  • 24/7 Access and support of the Divine Goddess Healing Facebook Group
  • Printable PDF Worksheets for Video Content 

And AMAZING Bonuses : 

  • 2 Bonus Sessions with me!! Whenever you choose :) 
  • An Angel Card Deck that I've Personally Cleared and Blessed for You! 
  • Healing Crystals hand picked based on your Personal Needs
  • Bonus “How To” Video’s
  • 2 POWERFUL Meditations 
  • Weekly Bonus Homework from other Spiritual Teachers & Mentors

AND SO MUCH MORE! Xo

Journey Details can be Found Here ! 

 

I would love for you to join us on this profound journey, if you feel called to.

Follow your heart, follow The Goddess Within, she will never misguide you, as she comes from pure honesty and Being.  Xo 

This is your opportunity to open the doors to awakening The True Powerful Goddess within!

You will open all the doors and keep them open within and after this journey.

You'll walk away knowing what it truly means to love yourself completely.

 

If you feel Called to finally having clarity in your life, Please Click Here!

With SO much love,

Sarah Xo 

Suicide, Sexual Abuse, Prostitution, Rape & How I'm Healing from It!

This is a serious topic I am about to touch on. I contemplated being so honest with myself and with you guys. And then my Angels showed me and reminded me of the state I was in during my hardest times, the most painful times. And what I didn't have was this; something I can read and relate to. Feeling alone and unheard in your pain has got to be one of the worst feelings ever! 

I'm sharing my story because I know it will save a life! I Know what it feels like to try to commit suicide, to have so much shame of how you've treated yourself, your body and soul. I know what it feels like to be in complete despair. I know that there is a girl out there who feels the way I've felt. To make certain decisions to try to make herself feel better, but the feelings of so much shame, and emptiness take over. She then attracts horrible events, she attracts more abuse, only to be right back to square one again.

I am here to tell you that You Are Not Alone. I'm here to tell you my story, or some of it. How your pain and abuse is indeed the doorway to your Life Purpose. And I'll explain that surviving many attempts of suicide and putting my life at risk with putting substances in it, was indeed the gateway to my success of healing. MY PAIN IS MY GOLD. And so is yours.

I know I was put on this planet to share my story and my gifts with the world, especially regarding suicide, and regarding feeling so unworthy it had resulted in me doing things again and again that just made me feel even worse. 

Here it is : My Story

When I was 1 , my parents got divorced. I felt so scared and confused and thought that it was my fault. Going back and forth between parents made me feel so confused, as if something was wrong with me. My Mum then married another man, my step dad, who is awesome, but at that time, I didn't want a relationship with him, I wanted a relationship with my father which I never had. My father did not teach me how a man should treat me. I was so terrified of my father to even ask him anything, he was always angry; something was always wrong. And I blamed myself for that as well. At a very young age, there was a hole that needed to be filled, an emptiness. 

My Mum gave me "the talk" about sex. She was very open and answered the questions I asked her. I asked her if sex felt good, she said yes.... So what would any curious girl or human do? I went and did that very thing because it "felt good". This resulted losing my virginity at age 12. I had sex with so many boys; I kept creating so many more holes in my being by doing this, and I thought that sex, which to me felt good to do at that time and I thought would "fix" how I was feeling inside, was actually making things so much worse. It was creating more holes in my spirit. This was an ongoing cycle... of doing the same thing again and again. This was the beginning of a horrific early adolescent and early adulthood. Because I was in that vibration, I attracted all of these painful events; at age 13 I attracted someone who used me, who would physically hurt me if I did not have sex with him and his friends. This one time he had demanded I give his friends oral sex, I said no; and he punched me multiple times in the head infront of his friends. I managed to get away and run home. And that was one of the first traumatic experiences I've ever endured. I asked myself "What did I do wrong?" I just didn't understand. My Mum was with me and we called the police. Even still, that stays with me and will forever.

Shortly after that incident, I had a boyfriend and when I found out he was cheating on me, I attempted suicide for the very first time. Surviving that made me even more confused, because I DID NOT WANT TO LIVE. I felt I had absolute no purpose, I did not know what I wanted in my life. I felt deep shame from what had already happened to me. Little did I know this was only the beginning of this painful early journey.

At age 14 I was sexually abused by my "friends" uncle, she knew as well, and to be honest, I am pretty sure he abused her too. And I am so sorry I did not say anything. Although it only happened once; he had followed me into a bedroom at their house, I remember him putting me on the bed, pulling my underwear off because I was wearing a dress and him putting his mouth on my vagina. I felt so disgusted. He was in his late 30's at the time. I would make excuses for him, "Well I don't look like I'm 14, I look like I'm 18." But the fact is, he still did what he did, and I was scared.

At age 15 I met someone shortly after that I fell in love with, and he had full awareness of what he was doing to me, he had full awareness of the manipulation he was doing. This is not a blame game right now, I am simply telling you my story. I did whatever he told me to do. When he went to prison (which I'm sure he wasn't even there, he just used me) even though I did not meet him yet, I would go out and sell my body for money. I would tell myself "Well, it's just sex." "I have sex all the time." And every single time there was an exchange of energy with my body and money, my spirit would crack even more.  I thought if I did this for him, he would love me. Even after he slowly faded away, and stopped calling me, which by the way I didn't have his number to reach him, he'd always call me private. I still continued to work in that industry. Within that process I had 3 pimps, I'd keep money for the him, the guy I was in love with, and would give the rest of the money to the pimp I was with at the time. I'd also never personally give the money directly to him, the guy I was in love with, it was always through someone. I remember working track one night. Track is when you work on the street. It was only once.... but that experience alone was so dangerous and terrifying beyond words, and the customer I had, liked young girls. He told me I looked just like his daughter.

When he broke up with me, I tried to commit suicide again. This time at a friends house, she was so upset. I was not living at home at the time, my Mum didn't want me in the house, and I don't blame her, but I was suffering from serious abandonment issues, I felt so unwanted that when he broke up with me, I was so empty and in a state of complete despair. After that I was in a foster home, I was in a shelter, I also was admitted to the "mental hospital" because of my suicide attempt. And had to stay there for a month and a half to be "evaluated". My Mum didn't visit me much there.

I started dancing or "stripping" at the age of 17. And this is because I felt that I wasn't able to offer anything else to the world or to someone other than my body, and my pretty face. This began the journey of binge drinking, cocaine and other drugs to numb this pain. If there is one thing in common within these women, it is that we feel like we do not have anything else to offer the world. W've taken the easy way out in terms of living and making money. And I'm sorry if that offended anyone , but this is my truth, and I know that I am not alone. And my truth is, that we are all worthy if we choose to be! If we choose to see our pain as a gateway to healing and our life purpose. 

For 7 years I danced and every time I stepped foot into that environment, apart of me would shatter even more. I felt such a deep shame in myself for being there; and that's when I started drinking heavily, and when I started doing cocaine almost every single night. I now see that I choose that lifestyle, to overcome it, and to help other women overcome their pain as well. 

Many traumatic events took place within that time ... I almost died from alcohol poisoning in March 2015, my step dad found me puking while unconscious. It happened in front of my little sister who was 10 at the time. I felt such deep shame when I woke up with puke all over me, when I saw the couch pillows in the laundry room with vomit on them. When I woke up with a towel beside me with puke on it. I was going to commit suicide that day, but something in my being stopped me. Everything in my life was at a halt once again and I just felt so alone in my pain. I didn't want to look at this life that I created for myself.

In February 2016, I had got really intoxicated while working at the club downtown Toronto. I had started wandering off and I remember getting into a car with these guys. I blacked out, and when I woke up, I was in a hotel room with my pants off, and I know what it feels in that area when its been penetrated. And it had been. And I was also robbed $1000.00 from my purse from those guys. Talk about deep shame on a whole other level. I had just got intoxicated to have my body touched because I just couldn't stand the feeling of those men touching me at the club, then I was robbed of that very money and sexually taken advantage of. When I got home that morning, I tried to commit suicide. I went to my basement, and I had the wire around my neck, and was going to walk off that coffee table.... But again, something stopped  me. I saw an Angel in my minds eye that time. So I got off the table and just started crying on the floor. At this point I just didn't know what to do with myself. I was drinking excessively. I was attracting these men into myself who were taking advantage of me, and I was doing so much harm onto myself. 

A month later, after work I had went to one of the girls condo's to do cocaine and drink more. I felt like I couldn't come home because I felt very unwelcome at that time. My family didn't understand my addiction. And I understand why, and thats okay. We did ALOT of cocaine, mixed with alcohol and G. She had invited a guy over to bring us more alcohol and all I remember was him saying that he'd take me home, so I left with him. He said that we'd stop by his place. He fixed me a drink, and I ended up passing out. 

I remember waking up to him taking my clothes off, but not being able to move. I was able to say stop a few times, but I was so weak I couldn't defend myself. He took my underwear off slowly as if I liked it. I was on my period, he took the tampon out, flushed it, came back and put his penis inside me. I was on my back and he ejaculated on my back. Still not being able to move, he wiped the semen off of me. This feeling of deep shame was going right through my body, my mind and my soul. I felt like "This is my life" , this has been and will always be my life. And I just couldn't take it anymore! The next morning I woke up and he tried to have sex with me again! I felt so disgusted with myself and with him... I forgive him, and I thank him. I was suppose to have that happen to me; to feel that pain, to understand that I indeed did attract that into my life, and that I need to share this story! I Know I am not the only one. 

To be honest, I danced for two more month after that. When I finally cleaned my locker out and threw out everything in there, including my lock. The locker that had my stripper name "Kelly" in it. I left it, the club behind me, physically. However, that was just the beginning of healing. Now I do deal with the memories every single day of my life. I heal them by diving deep into them, by validating them, that they were not "mistakes" because if I was ever able to go back, I'd still make the same choices. Before I use to be so shameful of them. But now I know, it is my GOLD. And it can be your Gold too! 

I've overcome these experiences, and I understand the lessons within them. That I am not the victim, God chose me to experience this to STOP the cycle of women who do this to themselves every single day. Who feel they are not worthy of more than their private parts and bodies. Who think they are not smart enough or deserve any other way of income. I experienced this to now help women overcome and understand their abuse! Your abuse happened to you so you can help yourself heal, for your over all expansion and to HELP OTHERS who are going through the same thing! Its my duty to tell you ... YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You can overcome this by SHARING YOUR STORY. By having COMPASSION towards the choices you've made, not judgement and shame. This healing will take a life time. But it's worth it, because now I see and know my worth, and you can too!

And We Are Love. 

And once you step into your power of healing and sharing your story, you will soon see and feel the power that has always been inside of you too!

Where am I now?

Here I am 10 years later from when the childhood abuse took place. And I'd be lying if I said I am happy of what has happened. There is no doubt in my mind that I am gratfeful, but pain is pain and I will always have to live with this. And looking back and seeing what I've learned about myself, I now see my Life Purpose. I'm gifted to work with Loving Angels and beings, to share my experience and wisdom. You can judge this story, That's Fine, Go Right Ahead. I understand why you would... maybe you can't make sense of your own pain.... And if you're judging me, I can only imagine how hard you judge yourself, and I have compassion towards you. I feel for you.

Be honest with your pain, be honest with yourself and your story! You will see the doors it opens for you. Remember that there will ALWAYS be a reason why you have experienced this type of pain and abuse. Your job now is to share it!

Your Story is your Gold. PLEASE! Share it! Reach out to someone. You Will be surprised of how many women have experienced the same things as you.

<3

Day 7 : 7 Day Vegan Challenge

This week was one of the most empowering but difficult weeks I've ever had in terms of knowing what I deserve in my life! I deserve prosperity and abundance, I deserve love because I AM LOVE! That's what is tricky for most of us in the beginning. That it starts from within, a lot of us seek outside sources for fulfillment, but you must by law have it energetically first before you can receive your desires. This includes your diet. This is not the last day of the vegan challenge, the challenge is every single day. I am turning this challenge into a way of life, and it starts with consistency and desire to being my greatest version. Let's DO THIS! xo

" Wellness in, Wellness out. Junk in, junk out." - Ralph Smart

 

What I ate today :

Vitamin B12 Supplement

1/2 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with water

2 banana's 

1/2 cups of herbal tea (rose and chamomile)

6 cups of water 

3 cups of dark chocolate covered peanuts - "jesus christ Sarah" lol 

1 cup of leftover butternut squash pasta 

 

My next step is to start fasting. I know spiritual enlightenment WILL happen within that process. Thanks for tuning in on this weekly journey with me. Stay tuned for more of my journey. I love you xo

- Sarah Tynes

Day 6 : 7 Day Vegan Challenge

- I've come to a conclusion today. Persistency comes results :) It's so true, and not only in your health, but in all areas. What area do you feel you need to be more persistent in, in terms of you desires and goals ? SHARE! :) 
- Today Guys was a really great day, I absolutely love my part time job, my manger just recently gave me less hours to focus more on my amazing healing business. I'm so grateful and appreciative of her and everyone that I work with. I saw my mom today at my workplace too, she's so sweet xo Also, Christmas is coming up and I'M SO EXCITED ! It will be my first year sober and vegan, and I'm so excited :)

In terms of my diet I did quite well :) I'm a VEGAN FOR LIFE !

 

What I Ate Today :

Vitamin B12 supplement 

2 bananas

1 tablespopn of apple cider vinegar mixed with 1 1/2 cups of water 

2 1/2 cups of herbal tea (chamomile & rose)

1 cup of Spinach

1/2 cup of sliced orange pieces 

1 strawberry lol (it came with the salad)

1/4 cup of blueberries

2 tablespoons os raspberry salad dressing 

1 cup of butternut squash pasta 

1 cup of dark chocolate covered almonds 

8 cups of water 

 

OMG I can't believe my challenge is almost done. The real challenge is after the 7 days!! Stay tuned :) 

 

Day 5 : 7 Day Vegan Challenge

Today was an interesting day in terms of feeling that pull again between manifesting my desires and what I am scared I will manifest. I am coming up with practical ways to get through my fears and break through with power and love! I can do it. I also ate an all vegan diet, unfortunately, no salad BUT I did not consume any meat, dairy, gluten, or refined sugar... or sugar for that matter. I made a really good pasta recipe, however it taste so different so I ended up putting lots of hot sauce on it and it was perfect ! lol I made a creamy butternut squash pasta dish.

 

Creamy Butternut Squash Pasta :

1 Butternut squash

1 can of Coconut milk

2 garlic cloves 

1 onion (only if preferred, I'd bake the pasta once its in the sauce to soften onions more)

Glutten free pasta of choice.

1 tablespoon of dried basil

1 tablespoon of dried oregano 

2 teaspoons of smoked paprika

1 teaspoons of salt and pepper

Get two pots, fill them with water and let them come to a boil. generously season water with salt. Chop and peel butternut squash and put into the boiling water for 9 minutes or until soft. Pour pasta into separate pot as well. Once butternut squash is soft, place in food processor along with coconut milk and spices, pulse and add more coconut milk as you go to make it creamy. Grab a pan and put some olive oil to medium high, add garlic and onions until soft then add the same and pasta to the frying pan and let cook for another 5 - 10 minutes. Enjoy xo

 

What I Ate Today :

* Vitamin b12 supplement 

1 1/2 cups of herbal tea (rose and chamomile)

1 banana 

1 cup of Left over pesto pasta 

1 cup of green grapes 

1/2 cup of blue berries 

2 cups of butternut squash pasta 

6 cups of filtered water 

I feel like I am sinking right now! I am going to eat ALL RAW TOMORROW ! xo

 

Day 4 : 7 Day Vegan Challenge

" Unfortunately, I had gluten today, I went for lunch with my Dad and I should've chose the salad, but I chose the Pasta Pomodoro. And you know what ... it happens. I decided to be honest, I HAVE NOT FAILED! And will continue with this challenge for the rest of my life, because it's so worth it ! I am still feeling in my power and I know I can do anything I put my mind to. My abundant thoughts are becoming my reality ;) At this point there is no going back in terms of my spiritual awakening but I can put into my body only of what I want to see on the outside.... It starts within!"

BUT, I did make a wonderful vegan spinach pesto and it was delicious! I felt light compared to eating a regular pasta.

Spinach Pesto

3 cups of rice pasta or gluten free pasta of choice (I used macaroni style pasta) 

Half a box of baby spinach

1 avocado 

Zest of 1 small lemon

Juice of one small lemon

1/4 cup of pine nuts

1/2 cup of extra virgin olive oil

Salt & Pepper to Taste

Spinach Pesto with Rice Macaroni Pasta

 

Wash baby spinach and lemon and dry well. Get a pot, fill it with water and sprinkle generously with sea salt and let it  come to a boil. Once the water comes to a boilI put pasta into the pot and cook for 10 minutes or whatever the instructions say; use your judgement.  Put all remaining ingredients into a food processor and process till smooth. Drain pasta, pour sauce over pasta and toss generously and serve ! xo YUM 

 

Here is what I ate today :

8 cups of water 

2 cups of dark chocolate almonds 

2 cups of Pasta with tomato sauce 

2 cups of Pasta with Pesto Sauce

1 Banana

1/2 cup of blueberries 

TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE SUCH A BETTER AND POWERFUL DAY ! XO Stay tuned :)

Can't wait for tomorrow! Back to the raw diet I feel empowered and I am proving to myself that I can do this <3 

 

Day 3 : 7 Day Vegan Challenge

"I hereby declare to live a Vegan lifestyle as it has SO many benefits, and I've never felt so empowered in my entire life!"

 

Oh my God! Today I had some serious epiphanies! YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! There are also a TON of sweet treats to eat that are vegan and healthy; my favourite is dark chocolate almonds, yum! <3 

The Universe is so amazing! When I made the conscious choice to do the 7 day vegan challenge, many things have been falling into place. For example, my step-dad bought me a salad spinner! Flippin' awesome! He made it eaiser for me to dry my greens! Thanks Freddy xo

Today overall was a day of breakthroughs. I live a prosperous life and that reason being is because I am creating it for myself. It all starts within, and it starts with what you're putting into your body as well. Today I craved chips.... you know the really REALLY unhealthy chips lol. SO instead I made amazing barbecue kale chips and they were delicious ! 

 

Barbecue Kale Chips

  • 1 bunch of curly kale
  • 1/2 teaspoons of Sea Salt (not table salt)
  • 1/4 teaspoon of smoked paprika 
  • 1/4 teaspoon of onion powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder
  • 1/2 to 1 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil (or any other healthy oil)

 

Wash Your hands :) And then wash kale and dry really well! You don't want any liquid as it will make the chips soggy. Place kale on a cooking pan and set oven to 350 degree F. Pour all ingredients onto kale and massage generous with your hands. Make sure kale chips are all one layer on the pan, if not they will steam instead of getting that nice crispy texture. They are so delicious when warm ! xo 

Barbecue Kale Chips 

 

What I Ate Today :

  • Vitamin b12 supplement 
  • Smoothie ; Strawberries, blueberries, 1 banana, chia seeds & almond milk)
  • 1 1/2 cups of herbal tea (chamomile & rose)
  • 1 cup of green organic grapes
  • 1 banana
  • 2 cups of spinach
  • 1/2 cup of blueberries for salad
  • 2 tablespoons of raspberry salad dressing 
  • 1 cup of dark chocolate almonds
  • 2 cups of vegan gluten free pasta
  • barbecue kale chips   

Tomorrow I'm looking forward to making a spinach pesto!! Stay tuned !

 

"I AM POWERFUL!"

Day 2 : 7 Day Vegan Challenge

Let's do this!" was my motto for today! 

Today I felt again SUPER empowered! This New Moon is super amazing in terms of manifesting and being in my power! I feel because I am consuming only life - force energy foods, I can feel and here what my Angels and Higher Self are telling me. I am in a state of trust and peace that I am SO worthy and what I have to offer the world is priceless! I am a healer and and leader, and I am here to help others see their power and to heal as well! 

I ate a good amount of food today! And I'm feeling full but have so much energy. I wish I had drank more water! (but the day is not over yet)

When I made this vegan pudding, I was kind of afraid that it would turn out like the mac n' cheese from yesterday... complete fail. BUT! to my surprise I was super impressed and full! I got the nutrients and benefits of this delicious snack and I had some left over for an evening snack! Awesomeness ;) 

Vegan Pudding Recipe:

  • 3 avocados
  • 2 bananas 
  • 1/2 cup of cocoa powder - you can use as much as you want!
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons of natural vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons of Almond milk - depending on how you'd like the consistency of pudding
  • a pinch of salt
  • * Add ingredients to a food processor or blender until smooth. This made about 3 1/2 cups of pudding.

SO EASY I KNOW :)

Vegan Chocolate Pudding

 

Here is what I ate today:

    •    2 1/2 cups of herbal tea (lavender)

    •    1 1/2 cups of vegan pudding 

    •    1 banana 

    •    1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar - mixed with water 

    •    Quinoa and avocado salad 

    •    1 cup of cashews for snack 

    •    6 cups of filtered water 

 

Quinoa & Avocado Salad

    •    1/2 cup of quinoa 

    •    half a cucumber 

    •    1 avocado

    •    1 small yellow onion

    •    1 small garlic clove

    •    1 - 3 table spoons olive oil

    •    1 lime 

    •    1/4 cup of cilantro

    •    1/2 table spoon of Greek seasoning

First I rinsed my quinoa thoroughly before anything, if you don't then your quinoa will taste very bitter. I put the quinoa on the stove :  1/2 cup of quinoa to 1 cup of water and a drop of olive oil. I let water come to a boil first before I put the quinoa in the pot. Once it's in the pot, turn down temperature to low. While the quinoa was cooking, I chopped up cilantro, cucumber, avocado. I first made the dressing with the olive oil, lime, cilantro and greek seasoning and mixed together. I then put the cucumber & avocado into the dressing and let it marinate. I then chopped onion and garlic and fried it for 6 minutes on the stove top. Now the quinoa should be ready; i put the cooked onion and garlic in with the quinoa and let cook for another 3 minutes to let it soak up the flavours. After I poured quinoa, onion and garlic mix with into the mixing bowl and tossed lightly ! It was so delicious! 

I ate the entire thing !! xo

Quinoa & Avocado Salad (not the entire portion of what I made)

 

Goals for next week: 

I am determined to live a chemical and additive free life! I know abundance and prosperity will flow through and to me much much stronger and effortlessly when I do not have unnatural substances in and around me. Here is what I want to use instead of the stuff I have been :

    •    Use fluoride free toothpaste (already do this)

    •    All natural deodorant (already use this)

    •    Chemical free hand soap & body wash

    •    Chemical free body lotion

    •    All natural surface cleaner

    •    Chemical free laundry detergent 

    •    All natural dish soap

"I CAN DO THIS! I AM POWERFUL! I AM!"

Stay tuned for Day 3 tomorrow! It's going to be amazing yet again! 

 

Day 1 : 7 Day Vegan Challenge ♥

Before I get into the details of this eventful day, I'd like to explain and share with you WHY I am doing this challenge! :)  

1. Animal cruelty is an issue that has always touched and hurt my heart, even as a child. But my programming was "You need to eat your meat Sarah." So I ate what I was told was "good for me", like milk, eggs, chicken and other meats. Now I see the bigger picture. Most of us don't understand that you literally Are what you eat... If I am eating a dead animal who's been slaughtered in front of it's mother, or has just watched her babies die infront of her and then suffered a terrifying and painful death, I am literally putting that into my body; that exact negative energy, that exact same suffering and terror. EVERYTHING is living, everything is part of this wonderful universe, and if I hurt or eat an animal that has been slaughtered to death for my own personal pleasure, It's just not right! Not for me.  

2. On a spiritual level, I give readings for a living and help people heal themselves through the messages of their loving Angels and Spirit, and I have noticed that I feel so much lighter and I receive SO MUCH more insight and clarity when I am eating only life force energy foods.

3. I just want to feel good! And it starts with how I feel on the inside! It starts with what I am putting into my body.

SO! I feel really great today! Despite the vegan Mac N' Cheese disaster I felt pretty amazing. I am in the space where if I consume life force energy foods, organic fruits and vegetables and all natural products (creams, deodorants, toothpaste and cleaning products) I KNOW my life will manifest into just that, natural prosperity. My life already is that!

SO, back to the Mac n' cheese disaster! (Please don't let the photo fool you) I guess I had it in my mind that it'd taste somewhat like cheese... I was so wrong! I couldn't even have more than 3 bites. I just couldn't eat it. I was dying of laughter because it was literally could not eat it. 

-> For the "cheese sauce" I boiled yellow potatoes, carrots, onions and garlic, and blended it up with something called "Nutritional Yeast". I used some coconut milk and some spices. and tossed the sauce with brown rice macaroni pasta. Guys I can't believe how not very good it was. Like I was so surprised!! I know what I'm going to do next time; there is this vegan cheese called Daiya, and I'm going to use almond or coconut milk.... Stay tuned for round 2 shortly ;) 

On another note, I feel like I had a bit more energy and more happier. When I am clear of toxins and additives, I feel and see my true power; I felt more connected to the energies around me, and my meditation this morning was POWERFUL. I am more in my power every single day! Let's do this! 

Here is what I ate today:

**Vitamin B12 supplement** 

2 cups of dark chocolate almonds ( Yes I KNOW what you're thinking ... lol)

2 bananas

1/2 cup of red grapes (they tasted weird...)

3 cups of herbal tea (chammomile, and lavender)

6 cups of filtered water

2 cups of spinach

1/4 cup of blueberries 

1/4 cup of raspberry salad dressing

1/4 of vegan pudding (RECIPE AND PHOTO TOMORROW DAY 2)

I feel like I should've ate more... but I felt pretty full! 

Stay tuned for Day 2 tomorrow! Will let you know all the details ♥ 

Vegan Mac n ' Cheese 

© 2017 SarahNICOLELOVE